10 Things I Always Tell My Children

Becoming a mother is one job I've always wanted. Playing house was my favorite game, I loved watching kids, I had to hold every baby I met, and I couldn't wait to join the sweet inner circle of motherhood. I've always read a lot of articles about parenthood, even while in high school. I just wanted to do it "right", to do the best that I could to give my children the best of me. I'm in no way a perfect parent and I never will be, but I hope to give my children what they need from me. I think it's important to be intentional and I think a lot about the words I use when I talk to my girls, what messages I want to share with them, what actions I can take to guide them, love them, build their self-esteem, and teach them. There's so, so, so many things I want for my children, it's truly and endless list, but these 10 phrases below are something I tell them often. 

1. I love you
This is a given for any parent, but I make sure to tell them every single day, multiple times. I want to ensure my children know that I will love them no matter what. No matter their choices, their lifestyle, or anything I will always love them unconditionally. I never want them to think that something they choose to do will make me love them any less or that they can’t come with me with a problem. I will always love them and I want them to know that.

2. Don’t give up, keep trying!
When Eleanor first starts something, she can get frustrated that it’s not right or she can’t do it right away. I always encourage her to keep trying to keep going and she’ll eventually get it. Life is hard, and I want my children to be able to face their challenges and not be discouraged if it’s not right the first time.

3. Please / Thank you
Not only do I want to teach my children manners, but I want them to speak with respect and kindness. I don’t want them to expect things to be given or done for them, but to ask politely and to show appreciation to others.

4. I’m sorry / I forgive you
Everyone makes mistakes, I’m not a perfect person, friend, wife, or mother. If I’ve done something wrong, I want to make it right, especially to those I love. When my patience is short, when I raise my voice, I talk to my girls. I’ve apologized and talked to them and when the situation is the other way around, I talk to them about their actions. They’re little, but they’re smart. They know and understand so much more than what they can verbalize.

5. It’s ok to feel ____
One lesson I’m trying to teach Ellie is that she is in control of her actions and her emotions do not control her. How she feels is important, and it’s ok for her to feel any emotion she is feeling. I want her to know that how she feels is important to me and she doesn’t need to be sorry that she feels one way or another. When she’s had a tantrum, I’ve told her “It’s ok to be mad. It’s ok to be mad at mommy. It’s not okay to yell.” We’re practicing positive ways to express herself. It’s a lesson I’m sure will take years to learn and she’s not going to master it in her toddler years, but I want her to know that how she feels is valid and to be able to make the right decisions and actions for each situation instead of letting her emotions control her.

6. I’m proud of you
Telling your child that you're proud of them boosts their confidence, lets them feel loved, and it's so easy to do! "You're an amazing sister!", "You did that so fast, that's awesome!", "You did a great job sharing today at play time!". Look for the good and you'll find it! When we've had a great day together, and we're talking over dinner time, I'm always sure to brag to my husband about what great thing we did that day- showing kindness, good listening, obeying, etc. Her face just lights up and she gets the biggest smile. 

7. It’s your choice
We give Ellie a several choices to make each day so she can learn to make decisions on her own and to feel empowered. We do a lot of “this or that” and “if, then” questions. We also follow through with consequences when she makes the wrong decision. We do this to teach her to take responsibility for her actions and to build her confidence in decision making. It might seem like a lot for a toddler, but these questions at this time mostly refer to clothing and food choices.

8. You’re beautiful
Children have so many wonderful, amazing qualities and abilities, and there's so much we want to teach them, and one of those things I want to teach my children is that they're beautiful. I think they're absolutely perfect in every way and I want them to feel confident about their looks and their bodies. The world can be full of so much judgment and as girls they're subject to so much ridicule, looks aren't everything, but I want them to have a positive opinion of themselves. 

9. I trust you
Trust is a foundation to all relationships and you start building trust with you baby as soon as they're born. When they cry, they're trusting you to meet their needs, whether that's to be picked up and soothed, fed, or changed. When you drop them off at daycare in the mornings, they're trusting that you will come back to get them! They look for follow through on promises (or threats) and trust in your word. It also goes the other way, I want my children to know that I trust them too. By trusting in your children, they learn to trust themselves, their inner voice, their intuition, and I want to nurture and strengthen that. Of course my children will make decisions I don't agree with, but I trust that they're continuing to grow and develop and when they're older, no one will know them better than they know themselves. 

10. I’m listening
Each day when we get home from work and over the dinner table we ask Eleanor about her day. When she’s upset or has thrown a tantrum, once she calms down we talk to her about whatever it was that upset her. I often tell her “I’m listening” and “tell me more” so that she knows that I care and that what she has to say is important to me. It give her an opportunity to share her thoughts and feelings and also teaches her the importance of listening.

What are some things you're sure to tell your children? What messages are important to you to teach? I love hearing what other families say and teach, there's so much to learn and new things to do! Please share below!

Our (long) Weekend Recap

These past two weeks have been so crazy! So much has been happening in our family and it's been quite a roller coaster. The girls have been sick, we're changing daycares, work has been busy. It's just been one thing after another! This week things should be settling down and we'll be finding a new routine over the next few weeks.

Scooter // Helmet

This weekend, we were supposed to be camping, but with nearly everyone feeling under the weather, we decided to just go for the afternoon to visit. It was such a beautiful day, high 80's with a slight breeze, and the kids loved being outside. We've been cooped up at home with the worst flu and it was just the change of scenery we needed. Ellie has been loving this Scooter my sister gave her for Christmas. We stayed til we ate a few s'mores and then headed back home.

Sunday we ran some errands just to get out of the house again. We also went back to Bahama Bucks so Matt could try it (the girls and I took my sister on Tuesday). It is the best snocone I've ever had in my life! That sounds like a bold statement, but I am picky about my snocones. I hate when it's all ice and chunky and this one really is like snow and just melts in your mouth. I'm glad they're a bit of a drive, otherwise I'd be eating one every day of my life.

There were lots of cuddles this weekend and the girls haven't napped so much in their lives! Ellie has pretty much given up naps altogether and she took one every day! It was like a Christmas miracle, although, really, it was just the end of a terrible flu. Emma took several naps on me and it was glorious. There's not much that's sweeter than a baby napping on your chest and I really haven't had to experience that many with her since she typically sleeps best on her own. During this nap, Ellie was so sweet and kept rubbing her arm or face and I snapped this sweet pic of her holding her foot. Ellie has become such a great big sister and is so loving to Emma. I love watching them interact, Ellie is hands down Emma's favorite person in the world. She just lights up every day when Ellie goes into her room in the mornings and no one can get Emma to laugh as hard as Ellie.

I took advantage of the long weekend and naps to sort through Emma's clothes. She's wearing 6 months right now, but is starting to outgrow those, so I took out all of our nine month clothing to wash. Since we're completely out of the three month clothing, and I've already went through them and donated what I'm not keeping, I folded and put them away in the garage in an airtight vacuum bag. I could have cried putting away all of the clothes, remember Ellie and Emma wearing them, I have so many favorites and thought about which I would save forever and which I would save to hand down to nieces. It's so cliche, but time really does pass too quickly.

Mirror // Prints Frame

I finally took imprints of Emma's hand and foot. It's meant to be done when they're newborns, and we have the same frame set for Ellie and did hers at three months, so I'm quite behind on Emma's. I guess that's how it goes for the second child. I tried taking 6 month pics on my own too this weekend... major fail. I tried last weekend too, but it was a bust. Her newborn pic will have to suffice for now in the frame! Geez louise people, the to-do list never ends and there's never enough time in a day.

That's was our weekend and now we're about to fold some laundry and order pizza while we watch the Grammys. Hope you had a great weekend and a great start to a new week!

What's in my Diaper Bag with Huggies!

With Ellie, I packed everything in our diaper bag. If I thought I could maybe, possibly, use it, I stuck it in our diaper bag. Over the last two years, I've learned so much and now with a new little one, I have packing our diaper bag down to a T.

I've learned to really just pack the basics, which could be tucked into a tote bag or large purse, and head out the door. If we're going to be gone for a long time, I'll pack an additional bag to leave in the car- items like jammies, change of shoes, extra diapers and wipes. Wanna see what I have in my diaper bag?

1. Clothing
I always pack a change of clothes for the girls, one set for Ellie and two sets for Emma. I always make sure we have socks, in case something happens to theirs, it gets cold, or as an extra layer under jammies. I also always pack a soft swaddle blanket which serves so many purposes. It's nice to cover up the girls, as an extra layer, to swaddle, to use as a nursing cover in a pinch, or to lay on the ground to let Emma play on.

2. Toys
Depending on your child's age, I pack 1-2 small items to entertain them while we're out. Emma is in love with this elephant and it goes with us everywhere! Other good items to bring are rattles and teethers. If you're child takes a paci, always pack an extra two! Emma won't really take one, but we couldn't carry enough for Ellie when she was young.

3. Diapers and Wipes
The good stuff- diapers, wipes, and rash cream! A good rule of thumb for little babies is one diaper for every two hours you're gone. I have yet to really use this many diapers on a trip, but you just never know! It's better to have too many than too little. My biggest advice it to bring extra wipes! We use two wipes holders, one with our changing mat and one we keep as a spare at the bottom of our bag. We run out of wipes faster than anything else since we use them for so much.

Our diapers of choice from day one with both girls is Huggies. I've found that they fit the best from the very beginning, especially with their umbilical cord cutouts to help with healing. We had the least amount of blow outs and leaks with Huggies, and their wetness indicator is perfect to know when they need a change, especially when you're just adjusting to their feeding habits and establishing a routine.

One time I had to call their customer service line and the representative I spoke with was so nice and friendly. I remember getting off the phone and telling my friends about their exceptional customer service. That call alone really cemented my loyalty to them, they are an awesome company with products that help keep my babies' skin soft and protected.

Another mom tip I have is to buy your diapers in bulk! You go through them so quickly and I've priced them everywhere and I get mine at Sam's (along with popcorn, milk, and other yummy snacks). The girls love getting out of the house and trying samples, checking out their kid stuff, and we always get a snack on our way out. It's been a nice break while I was on maternity leave so sit and talk with Eleanor. What's awesome about being a member is that you can get store pick up or free shipping! Score!

What do you keep in your diaper bag? Any tricks or tips?

5 Things that Didn't Get Easier with a Second Child

Even though Emma is just over three months, motherhood has been so much easier this second time around and I feel like I've been rocking it. Having more knowledge, experience, and an easier baby have made it a whole new world (did you sing that to the Aladdin tune? I typed it to the tune and we've been watching it a ton in our house). So many fears have been quieted, I know what skills to put to use with each cry, and nursing has been awesome. I'm still going with no tears shed! That alone is an accomplishment in and of itself. However, there are a few things that haven't changed and I thought I'd share them with anyone who is expecting or thinking of adding to their brood.

1. The fear of SIDS
With Ellie, I checked constantly for fear of SIDS. She wasn't a sleeper so anytime she slept more than 20 minutes I checked repeatedly that she was breathing. Emma is a sleeper so it totally freaked me out at first, now I may only check a few times a week, but the fear is still there. Sometimes you do everything right, you read all the books, you take the precautions and terrible things still happen. I hope and pray that this never happens and if she hasn't moved or made a peep I may go into her room for a closer look, a finger under her nose to feel for warm breath, and I may or may not have poked her a time or two.

2. Red lights
Emma loves car rides, but if you stay stopped for too long she gets upset. It's inconvenient and you have to tap the brakes and creep to every red light to try and keep the car moving for as long as possible before coming to a complete stop. On a terrible day, you even think about the risk if you just ran that stop sign, just once to make it home with a content infant. I totally forgot about this, until Emma was here and my girlfriends and I all laughed about it.

3. Late night diaper changes
You're tired, your eyes are half open, your contacts are dry as a desert, and you contemplate the 12 hours leak free design your diapers brand promises. It sucks and they are no fun and did not get better the second time around. Included in this as a part b if you will, is blow outs. They also suck.

4. Pumping is the pits
When it comes to feeding your child, I pass no judgment. Nurse, pump, bottle feed, formula, you choose what's best and works for your family. With both of my girls, I've been able to breastfeed them and although it's going so much better this second time around (due to an increase in my supply), pumping still sucks. I hate it. I haven't been as diligent or strict about it this time because I just loathe doing it. I've even woken Emma up to nurse just long enough to keep me comfortable and save me from pumping and I am a strong believer in never waking a baby. Having to tote your pump with you when you're away, storing milk, washing all of the parts, and having to make sure everything you wear is pump friendly is just the pits. I'm thankful we have breast pumps in this day and age and I'm glad I don't have to hand express, but I still find it all terribly inconvenient and hate doing the task every day.

5. The speed of time
It still goes by lightning fast. Knowing how quickly it went by with Eleanor, I tried extra hard to relish in the moments, but they still slipped right through my fingers just as fast, if not faster. This is one of the saddest parts of parenting, it just goes by so quickly. Ellie is getting so big and I know that the time when she'll no longer fit on my lap or be too big to pick up is just around the corner. It breaks my heart to know that she's not always going to be small enough for me to carry her. It's no different the second time, every day Emma gets bigger and new milestones are achieved. Both my girls will be off to college in what I'm sure will feel like a blink of an eye.

These are my top things that didn't get better or easier with experience. Being a parent is so fulfilling, but there's things that just don't change no matter how many times you've done it. I wish I could wave a magical wand and and make the tough times easier, the inconvenient things convenient, and time last longer. What are some things you thought would be different with a second child?

Best Treatment for Diaper Rash

They tell you that each baby is different and it's so true! Emma is calm, loves being passed around from one family member to the next at parties, sleeps a ton, and is really relaxed. A totally different experience from our first baby! Another difference between our girls is Emma's sensitive skin. From the very beginning, she had really sensitive skin and I swear her little perfect cheeks were constantly changing between pink and red. It kind of threw me for a loop because my experience with diaper rash was never a big concern- it always cleared up rather quickly. I've had to learn some new tips and tricks with this little one and I wanted to share my experience like a good mommy blogger!

1. Change diapers often!
This is kind of a no brainer, but sometimes I would wait until the diaper was full or until she pooped to change her. I think everyone does this, but I'm still kind of embarrassed to put it out here. With Emma, probably for about the first month, we would have to change her diaper really often to keep her rash away. As soon as it started to disappear and we slacked, it would come immediately right back. Since rashes can happen at any diaper wearing age, I would suggest changing diapers anywhere between 2-3 hours, or less if you have an infant. This has been the biggest tip to keeping rashes at bay.

2. Change types or skip the wipes
Sometimes, changing brands or types of wipes can be an easy choice to keep away rashes. During Emma's first few weeks we had to switch ours to ones for sensitive skin. When she had a really bad rash that wouldn't go away, we skipped wipes altogether for a soft towel and water.

3. Let them go free
When in doubt, air it out! We haven't had to do this with Emma, but one time with Ellie we just let her be naked for a a while on a towel. It was all we could do to get that little sucker of a rash away! It helps to keep their skin from being rubbed or irritated from the diaper and gives them time to air out.

4. Lay it on thick
Another trick I learned is to slather the rash cream on THICK and often. A lot of it gets absorbed or rubbed into the diaper, so you need to really get a nice layer of cream on their sweet little tushie.The cream that's worked best for Emma is Desitin, it goes on really nice and clears up any signs of rash within a few hours or a day or two (depending on the severity). We use their maximum strength version, since it offers the maximum amount of zinc oxide, go big or go home is our motto. When she has a rash, or even the sign of one coming on, we wipe some cream on her at every diaper change.

If you're in need of some Desitin, or want to try it out for your little one, Target Cartwheel coupon is offering 25% off from 10/25-11/21! It's the perfect time to stock up!

What are some of your best rash tips that helped your babies? What worked the best for you?

Today's post is sponsored by DESITIN® cream, but all experiences and opinions are my own!

Motherhood 2.0

Since our second baby Emma is now over a month old, I'm obviously a mothering pro. I'm batting two for two so far in keeping all of my offspring alive, fed, and relatively clean and mostly clothed. Being a parent has such a huge learning curve and can sometimes be such an uphill battle. There are days I'm counting down the minutes for bedtime, and other days I feel like Martha Stewart and June Cleaver and I'm rocking it.

When I had Eleanor, I felt like I had been through a hurricane, had survived being trampled by an elephant, been hit by a train, and was only left with half a brain. I had no idea what I was doing and the baby blues had hit me hard (read about my experience with the blues here). It was tough, really, really tough. I wasn't prepared for it and I prayed every day of my pregnancy that this time it would be easier. The power of prayer works my friends!

This time has been so much better and I've been able to enjoy it so much more. I have cried zero times so far! Which that alone I think is monumental. Now, it hasn't been easy every day, but I've learned so much and feel so much more confident and at ease. Here are a few things that have made it better and what I've learned and am putting to use this second time.

- Accept help! 
My sweet and wonderful aunt came in from out of town and stayed with me for an entire week after Matt went to work. I'm beginning to think she is my fairy godmother. I can't express enough how thankful I am for her help and support. It was so much fun and Ellie loved all of the attention from her. We would come home in the mornings from an errand or the park and she would tell me to take the baby and head upstairs for a nap and to not come out before 2pm. It was amazing! Another day, a different aunt came over and went to work on cleaning the house and making lunch. When I had Ellie, I accepted food and that's it. I was too embarrassed and felt like I had to entertain when people came by. Not this time my friends! Want to wash my clothes or mop the floor? Please and thank you.

-The importance of the swaddle
For some odd, odd, reason we didn't swaddle Ellie for very long. Why? Because I had no idea what I was doing. It was also hot as Hades that summer (it was actually record breaking that year) and I hated having to bundle her up. Looking back, I think that was a big mistake on my part. Now, for every nap and bedtime little Emma is in a swaddle and is snug as a bug. She sleeps so much better! Our nights have been fairly easy and I swear it's due to the power of the swaddle.

-Baby Cries
When Ellie cried, I cried. She cried a lot, so therefore, I cried a lot. If she made a squeek, grunt, huff, or growl I picked her up immediately. This time, it doesn't bother me. Of course, I hate listening to Emma cry, but I've realized that she'll be ok if she cries for a few minutes while I finish what I'm doing or tend to Eleanor. I now know that if I take care of what I need to do, I can take care of Emma calmly, without worry, and with a full belly. It's much easier to take care of her when I've taken care of myself. Often times, she fusses for a minute and then goes back to sleep. If I picked her up right away, would she still fall back asleep? I'm not sure.

-I'm not your pacifier!
Nursing in general has been way easier this time, we haven't had any issues with latching or my supply as I did with Ellie, so Emma has been getting a full belly quicker. As soon as she's done eating, she's done. I don't let her pacify on me or play. Eleanor was nearly attached to me all day long, poor thing probably had to be to get enough nutrients, but she also used me as a pacifier for six months. It was all that I could do to soothe her or get her to sleep. Not allowing it to happen the same way this time, plus the combination of other things in this list (like swaddling), have made our lives much easier and we were able to avoid starting bad habits that would be hard to break later on.

-Entertaining the baby
Any time Ellie was awake, I felt that I had to be holding her, singing to her, talking to her, or entertaining her. It was exhausting. Although, it's extremely important to do all of those things with your new born baby, you don't need to do it every. waking. minute. Once, you have multiple children, it's nearly impossible. It's also easier to have a little helper who is so happy to play and sing to her little sister. Every morning and afternoon, Ellie and I play with Emma during her tummy time and during Ellie's nap and when she goes to bed I get some special one on one time with Emma to love on her. This time around, I just don't feel that same pressure to make sure that I'm doing something educational with her every moment. It's much more natural this time and I love being able to have Eleanor included in this time.

-The joy of a sleeping baby
With Eleanor, I never understood how you were supposed to put a baby down while they were drowsy and let them fall asleep on their own. Ellie would only sleep if I nursed her, held her, or pushed her in a stroller. With Emma, it's been a totally different scenario. She doesn't really fall asleep at the breast often and I can just swaddle her and lay her down and she's awake for a few minutes and then falls asleep. Every now and then we'll have to rock her in the Rock and Play, but it's been pretty simple around here. I'm really hoping that this can continue and I'll have a better sleeper now that I know more tricks. 

-They'll survive
As a first time mom, I worried constantly. Are they eating enough? Is this poop normal? What do I do? I had a million questions about everything. Not so much this second time around. I'm not toting every baby related thing with me for every trip out of the house or ditching a full shopping cart in the middle of an aisle to run home because of a screaming infant. I've realized that you don't need every baby gadget, toy, outfit, teether, etc. Your baby will be just fine without every possible baby gear and accessory. I'm also much more attuned to which cry means what, and I know the answers to most of my rookie questions! The anxiety I had is gone and I'm so incredibly thankful that it's been easier my second go around. The baby is easy, keeping Eleanor busy is what's hard!

I read somewhere while I was pregnant that time goes by even faster with a second child and it couldn't be more true. I'm halfway through my maternity leave this week and I can't believe it. It makes me so sad to know how quickly this time has gone by and how it's only going to go faster when I go back to work. There's days I feel like I'm grasping at straws to savor the time with both girls, both together and individually. The dishes, laundry, carpets, can all wait. Babies don't keep and I need to snuggle them a bit longer. Thank goodness it's been easier the second time, I look back and both laugh and cry at my experience. I'm so incredibly thankful for our little family and my sweet girls. I love them both to pieces and each day has been a blessing to spend with them.

What are some of your motherhood lessons you've learned with your children? How

Nursing Necessities

Nursing so far with Emma has been going great! I'm more relaxed this time and hope that I have more success and can go for as long as I did with Eleanor. I wrote about our Breastfeeding Journey recently and you can click the link to check it out. Nursing is not for the weak of heart, it's tough work and was so much more difficult than I had expected it to be.

A few things I'm doing differently this time than I had with Eleanor:

- Keeping up on my water intake
- Eating good meals often and healthy snacks
- I've started pumping sooner, just 5 minutes after a feeding at least once a day. I'd like to increase this to twice a day, but we'll see how time permits once Matt goes back to work.
- I bought more nursing friendly garments and tanks which make life so much easier!

Here's a breakdown of my favorite nursing basics:

Nursing Shaping Cami- This tank is so comfortable and offers a lot of support to your breasts. It's lined and shaped at the top, similar to a bra and not just a built-in shelf bra like other tanks. I would take the "shaping" in the title loosely, it's just has extra elastic and is comfortable to wear, nothing like wearing Spanx. I bought this top in both white and nude.

Slimming Nursing Cami- This tank doesn't offer quite as much support as the above shaping tank, but is super comfortable. It's probably the most comfortable nursing tank I've worn!

Full Coverage Bra- A real bra people! It's so hard to find good nursing bras that offer the same support as a regular bra and I really like this one. The only flaw is that it does have an underwire (they say to avoid them for milk production), but if you're going somewhere special or wearing a top that requires more support a few hours or a day or two I wouldn't think would hurt your supply.

Seamless Bra- This bra is amazing! Lots of support, feels like a sports bra, and is seamless so it's easy to wear. This one is my favorite to wear, especially on these hot days we've been having.

Sleep Bra- I don't care much for these during day wear, even just around the house, but they're great for sleep! That's why it's probably called a sleep bra, duh. They're soft and comfortable, not a ton of support which is why I don't care for them for the day.

As for accessories, here's what I prefer to use and have the most success with:

Medela Pump In Style- I love this pump and used it every single day when nursing/pumping. It's easy to use and I like that it's convenient to shop for. In the event that you left pump parts at home you can always run to Target or another nearby shop and pick up parts and accessories on your break.

Car Adaptor- I didn't have to use this often, but it really did come in handy, especially when Black Friday shopping! Sometimes you have to pump while on the go and the adaptor is a life saver.

Pump Accessories- When you're pumping on the daily, it's nice to have extras because washing these puppies every single day gets tiring. I love having some extra this time around (they should also be replaced every 6 months...or at least with each new kid!), it makes cleaning and being ready to pump so much easier.

Aquaphor- When you first start nursing, your nipples are so sore and feel like they may fall off with every latch. Plus, they can get cracked and possibly bleed. So much fun.... Of all the products I've used, I've always stuck with Aquaphor, it heals so quickly and you don't have to wash it off before nursing. I give it to all my mama friends as gifts.

Breast Gel Pads- Also, another must have throughout all of nursing/pumping. You can heat or freeze these babies and they feel amazing when you're breasts are engorged, have a plugged duct, mastitis, or are still tender from the start of nursing. If you buy anything to help soothe the pain, buy these! Matt ran out and bought these for me the first day being home with Ellie and I've used them since.

What are your favorite nursing/pumping necessities?  What are some of your best tips for success?

Parenting Rites of Passage

There are moments in life that make you step back and think, I just went through a rite of passage. Growing up, it's things like getting a phone in your room, getting to stay up an hour later, then getting a license, having your first heartbreak, an acceptance letter to college and so on.

As a parent, these rites of passage still continue. There's several of them and they keep going forever into grandparenthood. Here are some of the few that I've experienced so far, including the one that happened this weekend.

1. Having a baby
Doesn't matter how you brought this baby into the world, whether it's from hours and hours of pushing, having them cut from your abdomen via a c-section, or from traveling and filling out endless paperwork to make them yours. The point is that they're yours. You fought for them, you prayed for them, you went into this thing filled with fear, excitement, and most of all love.

2. The first all-nighter
Some people get babies who sleep through the night (I've only known this joy for the last 5 months) and others get babies who are up every few hours, or your baby is sick, or whatever the reason. The first few times you're up all night long feeding them, rocking them, singing lullabies, etc. I remember the nights when I wanted to cry (and often I did) where I would think to myself that these are the nights I'll remember and how much I would want them back when they were gone and how I would miss how little she was at that moment in time.

3. The blowout
It's disgusting and smelly and you don't know where to start with clean up. Or how to take off their onesies or if you should just cut it off and toss it away. Just so you know, you take it off from the top down, thank you Pinterest, although it was too late when I learned this. When this blow out happens, and it's all up their back, and dripping, and smelly, you've just gone through a rite of passage. Welcome.

4. Their first...
There are lots of firsts for children- their first crawl, step, word, kiss, etc They're all amazing experiences. They fill you with joy, tears, pride and it's so fulfilling and gives you a little pat on the back that something you're doing is right. All of the teaching, helping, love, and support you showered on them is working! Woohoo!

5. The sickness
Ellie has had very few illnesses (thanks heavens); a little cold, HFM with only three spots, and a few fevers (mostly from teething), but this weekend was the first real sickness. It was disgusting, smelly, and I don't want to get too much TMI, but Matt and I were up in the middle of the night cleaning her up and her bed. Once we got her back to sleep between us (so her room could air out) we looked at each other and high fived. Dead serious. It was a total rite of passage, I knew it would be coming one day and this weekend was it. We nursed her back to health and took it on together as a team.

Being a parent is sometimes an uphill battle, but it's so much fun. All of the hard times and the happy times make for such memories and good stories to retell later. I've loved every moment of this journey and the rites of passage I've experienced. I love the support that motherhood brings to us, that we're all in it together, although some women judge instead of love, but tut-tut to them because they're missing out! It's a job you can't call in sick to, you come out bruised and your heart bursts over and over for a number of different reasons, but it has to be the most fulfilling thing I've ever done. 

What are some of your most memorable rites of parental passage? What was hardest or easiest for you?

Motherhood's Surpises

"The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. The mother is something absolutely new" - Rajneesh

Becoming a mother is exhilarating, scary, amazing, and hair pulling crazy. I've played house since I first understood free play and I played it for years. I couldn't wait to have a family of my own, a baby to hold, soccer games to attend, nails to paint, boo boos to be kissed, and cuddles to be had. There's lots of surprises that comes with having a child, body fluid where? How do I...? Is this enough? Did that really just happen? Nothing will surprise you as much as the changes in yourself and lifestyle and the surprises you find about yourself. Here are a few of the many surprises for me. 

- I’m much more laid back than I had expected to be

When I pictured myself as a mother, I figured I’d be neurotic and worry about every little detail. My mother was like that- over protective and worried. It drove me bat $#@! Crazy. It still does because she’s still like that. I didn’t want to be like that, but I thought like mother like daughter right? Wrong! Yes, of course I worry about Ellie, the first few months I was a total worry wart. Now, of course I want to protect her from bad life experiences and I’m detail oriented about her, but not to the extremes. I want to teach her to be resilient, strong, that it’s OK to have emotions and show them. When she falls or gets a black eye (she’s had more than one) I don’t rush over to her right away, I let her decide how bad it is. I put on a strong face when it scares me so I don’t scare her. I'm not completely laid back, but I'm not as crazy strict about every detail either. I've found a nice medium that works for us.

-The value of personal time

The loss of personal/alone time nearly vanishes when you become a mother. It’s one thing I tell expectant mothers to relish in with their last impending months. Sometimes, the only time I’m alone is when using the restroom at work (and no one is in the next stall) and my late night shower. That’s it! Even then I’m still doing “business”. Sometimes, when I have days off, I’ll still take Ellie to daycare for a few hours to keep her in her routine and to get some time for myself. I’ll give myself a pedicure, do house chores that are hard to accomplish with a toddler around, run errands, etc. I love the time I have with her and I really do live in the moment and shower her with attention and affection, but sometimes... it's nice to watch an entire episode of Downton Abbey by myself. In bed. With a bag of hot Cheetos.

-Setting an Example

Even though Ellie is small and doesn’t understand everything we do as her parents, I’m always aware of the example I’m setting for her. To dress appropriately in respect to myself and my husband, to attend church, not to cuss, to be honest/kind/generous/loving, the list goes on and on. I told Matt one day that I wanted to start working out and he was excited for me, and I had to explain that I didn’t actually want to work out. Huh? I wanted to work out to set the example for Ellie to take care of herself and to treat her body well (I’m still working on this as I have worked out 0 times since giving birth). This battle is only going to get harder as she's more aware of my actions and how much of an influence I become to her.

Becoming a parent surprises you, whether or not you think or expect it to. It's not easy and and there's no right or wrong way to do it. Every child is different so what works for one may not work for the other. I pour over parenting books and articles, I talk to tons of parents I admire and I'm always trying to remember and incorporate things I've learned into our everyday life. I love being a mom and the curve balls and surprises it throws at me.

What are some surprises becoming a parent have you had?

Weekend(s) Catch-Up

Since the holidays, our weekends have been packed! Now that they’ve started to slow down a bit (ha!) we’re been trying to get out more with Ellie as a family. A few weeks ago, we went to an outdoor mall by our home just to walk around and make a few exchanges. We set the app Map My Run on our phones to see how much we walked and we walked over 2 miles at the mall. I couldn’t believe it, it didn’t seem like you could really walk that much at just a shopping mall. While on leave, I walked almost every morning and I would like to do it after work, but it’s too dark right now to do so. It was nice to get out and about and get some walking in. We went really early to the mall and Matt and I split a smoothie and a pretzel and took our time looking around. It was nice to spend time with Matt outside of our house or at parties. I had a lot of fun shopping with him and Ellie. 

It had been really warm too due to a  heat wave and I’ve been living in my shorts and flip flops on Saturdays. Most of my shorts I couldn’t even fit over my thighs/butt since being pregnant and the last time I tried them on, I could pull them up, but not button them. I can button them now and wear them comfortably! Woohoo!! I was so excited about that, I floated on cloud nine all day. Breastfeeding for the win! I haven’t worked out at all post-partum and I’m waiting until I’m done nursing to do so because I’m afraid of it affecting my supply. I know they say it doesn’t need to and there are ways to still work out and nurse, but I’ve had an issue with my supply in the past and I’m too worried about doing anything to hurt it.

Matt and I have tried to also take turns taking Ellie out on our own as well on the weekends to give the other one time to themselves and with friends. It’s important to us both to take time to ourselves so we don’t lose ourselves to our role as parents. It’s been both hard and refreshing for me. I had a baby shower to go to and decided that Ellie and I should match for the first time. I know it’s super corny, but it was a lot of fun and I hope to do it more in the future. Maybe not so matchy-matchy, but coordinated at least. Even if I had a son, I think it would be fun to still match with him too. It was also the first time a lot of my sorority sisters got to meet Ellie and it was great to catch up with the girls. We even got a quick shot of all of us. 

Matt and I haven’t really eaten out much at restaurants, we tried it a few times and of course Ellie had a meltdown and cried the whole time. Now that she’s eating solids and can sit up using a high chair, it’s opened so many social doors for us. We can go out now with family and friends and she enjoys seeing everyone at table level and we just bring her homemade food, puffs, and mums for her to enjoy. I can’t wait for her to be able to just eat off of our plates- that will make life even easier!!

A few weekends ago, on my way to visit Matt’s sister and her family (Matt met me at her place), I stopped and picked up some goodies for Ellie. They were having 40% off the whole store and I had an additional 20% off coupon so I grabbed a few things in 12 months for her to wear this spring/summer. She’s wearing 9 months right now and I really like how Carter’s brand fits her and everything I have from them washes and wears well.

 

They had some super cute sandals, but I didn’t know what size to get her. Her feet are little, but they’re really chubby and I didn’t know what size she would be wearing in a few months so I just held off for now. I couldn’t resist these cute sunglasses for her, which she wore in the store, but hasn’t kept on since we left. I hope she takes to wearing them though, with her light eyes, I know she’ll be sensitive to the sun and I’d like to protect her eyes this summer. She also absolutely loved this mermaid doll  with a rattle we got and just giggles and smiles every time we play with it with her. They had a matching towel to go with it that I think needs to show up in her Easter basket.

I've never been more anxious or excited for Fridays to come in all my life since having a family. The transition to work was luckily pretty easy for me, but I still have days where I want to call in sick and just cuddle and play with Elle bell all day. I hope to stay home or work part time in the future, but for now I'm doing what's best for our family. 

Matt and I have also done really well with making dinners at home every day. This year we wanted to have more healthy, well-rounded meals and it has gone really well. We make chicken, pork chops, fish, lasagnas, green beans, zucchini, and asparagus most nights. We're not re-inventing the wheel or anything, but it's been great to plan our meals ahead of time and not be scrambling on what to have when we get home. This past week we challenged ourselves not to eat any candy, no snacking after 8pm (except for fruit/veggies, which we never ended up doing), and to drink only water after 8 as well. It was really easy to follow and not eating candy was going great until day 4 and I had such a hard time! I made it through the week though and packed some Sour Punch Kids with my lunch today. It was just a challenge to see if we could do it and it was a success!

Hope all of you had a great weekend and may this Monday start off with a bang for your week!

Our Baby Food Journey

Introducing Ellie to food has been something we've been looking forward to and we chose to wait until she was 6 months before trying any solids or purees. As the 6 month mark approached, I began to feel nervous about what types of food to start with, how I wanted to introduce them, the order of foods to try, etc. Who knew feeding a baby would bring about so many questions? The only question I didn’t have was that I wanted to make my own food.

Most of the women in my family have made their own food, my mother did with both my sister and I, and my sister in law did with both of her children. Then Kristin, of Mama and Mou has also posted a lot about it and I’ve emailed her a few times with different questions I had- she was a great resource and thanks again for all your help!

We started Ellie off with organic rice cereal and with her first taste, she wasn’t a big fan of it (as you can see in the above pic!). The face she made was hilarious, and she was a good sport. She tried a few more bites before showing no interest and turning her head away. With her second taste, we couldn’t feed her fast enough! The first few bites she would make a face, but still want more. I think she was just getting used to the new texture.

My SIL and I got together after a grocery store run, and she helped me steam and puree all my veggies for Ellie. We used the book, Cooking for Baby for reference on how long to cook items and how to prepare them (steam, boil, or bake and whether the peels/skin were ok) and in 2.5-3 hours time, we made enough food for several weeks! I couldn’t believe how easy it was and couldn’t imagine why anyone wouldn’t want to do it. Now, I don’t judge any mother for what/how she chooses to feed her baby, maybe making food doesn’t appeal to everyone, so whatever floats your boat and works for your family.

The entire process was really simple, we would use a double boiler for most of the veggies (the butternut squash and sweet potato we baked), putting water in the bottom pot and the veggies in the top pot. After a few minutes we would check to see if the vegetables were steamed all the way through and were easy to pierce with a fork. If they were ready, we would pop them into the baby bullet and puree them to smithereens. Most of the veggies pureed thin enough on their own, but the peas, carrots, and green beans I had to add a little bit of water to get them to the right consistency. Once the veggies cooled down, I poured them into ice cube trays to freeze. Then after they were frozen, I popped them out and placed them in freezer bags with the date they were made. Each night I would place the amount of ice cubes for her serving in a bowl with a lid to thaw for lunch/dinner the next day.

We started Ellie off with vegetables and began with peas, then zucchini, butternut squash, yellow squash, carrots, sweet potato, and green beans. She has absolutely loved everything so far and thankfully, we haven’t had any bad experiences either with tummy aches or rashes. This weekend we moved onto fruits starting with pears and apples. Unfortunately, there’s not a large variety of fruit in season at this time so I’ve also picked up Gerber Organic Peaches in the meantime so Ellie can try a variety of foods. I’ve also started to mix some of the veggies together to create new flavors for her.

She’s so funny, because you can’t feed her fast enough. If you wait to give her another bite, she fusses and gets mad. I love it! We also give her Gerber Puffs and Baby Mum-Mums (which she loves) and have started to give her water with her dinner as well. Before officially starting on fruits, we have given Ellie a banana in a mesh eater and a sliced apple to gnaw on, both of which she did not care for whatsoever. They were both new textures and are much sweeter than the veggies we’ve been giving her so I’m not surprised at her reaction. We will just keep trying new things to get her used to a variety of flavors and textures. Our experience so far has been really good and fortunately, Ellie has been a great eater. She's loved everything we've actually fed to her and has been a great eater. I hope she stays this way and I look forward to the time when I can just give her smaller portions of what Matt and I eat.

Right now she still drinks the same amount of milk as before, that has not weaned yet. She sometimes has rice cereal in the mornings, and sometimes not. Just depends on how our mornings go and how long of a nursing she gets when she wakes up. She eats lunch at daycare and 3-4 bottles, then Matt and I feed her dinner while the other one is cooking. After she eats her dinner, she gets some puffs, mums, and a bottle of water while we eat. We've tried giving her sippy cups at dinner, but she hasn't got the hang of how they work yet so for the meantime we're just giving her a bottle with water for now.

Here are some of my favorite food items so far:

Gerber Graduates BPA Free Bunch-A-Bowls with Lids

Munchkin Soft-Tip Infant Spoons

Pullover Towel Bibs

Gerber Graduates Puffs 

Baby Mum-Mums

Earth's Best Organic Rice Cereal

Baby Bullet Complete Baby Care System 

Be sure to check out Mama and Mou today, I have a guest post up about my baby blue experience! I'm so honored to be featured. If you have a little one, be sure to link up every Tuesday!

OOTD: Buttons Down the Back & Wakeful Nights

Ashley Button Back Top

Forever 21 Jeans

Nordstrom BP Gold Flats (old, similar here)

Clover Necklace from Groopdealz

E Initial Necklace from Very Jane

Getting ready for work has been pretty fun since going back. While I was on maternity leave I got ready each day with my hair and make-up, but stayed in my yoga pants and tank top nearly all day long every day. I love the back of this blouse and the pretty gold buttons going all the way down. It looks gorgeous with a pencil skirt- I'll have to snap a pic!

This next month I'm training a new group of new hires at work so I'll be working late into the night, but luckily I'll get to also go into work later which means more time with Ellie! I'm hoping I can continue to wake up early (but not at my 5am wake up call now!) and go for a walk with her like we did while I was on maternity leave. 

Transitioning back to work has been easier for me than I thought, I really believed I would be in the bathroom crying my eyes out missing her. I still miss her each day and some days are harder than others, but I have yet to cry at work. I've choked up a few times in the morning before we leave the house, but I know it's what's best for our family at this time. However, the transition hasn't been as easy on Ellie. She loves her daycare and is always happy to be dropped off and is happy when we pick her up, but her sleep schedule has been a nightmare since my return to work. We've started the transition to her crib and the first week she slept there for most of the night and then would wake up once and I'd move her to the Rock and Play for the rest of the night. Then last week she slept the entire night without waking and I thought we hit the motherload. Then she hasn't slept since. In fact, on Friday I was up until 4 am with her on and off sleeping and Saturday she didn't nap and didn't go to bed until 1030pm and woke up twice still! What is going on??? Before I went to work she slept through the whole night easy peasy for weeks. I've been reading all over the internet, talking to other mommies and I'm just at a loss as to what to do. I'm not sure if it's separation anxiety, teething, 4 month sleep regression, a combination or what! Please mommies, if you have suggestions, let me know!